How to Speak Scorpio

Greetings from Planet Scorpio

Scene 1

Date Night. Four Foot Nothing (FFN) has been deposited at Camp Grandma and Scorpio Hubby (SH) and I are walking up and down the line of restaurants trying to come to an agreement on somewhere to eat.

Me: This place looks nice. Good menu selection.
SH: mmmm, pretty expensive plate of pasta, don’t you think.
Me: What about this place? You can get a steak here if you want.
SH: Yes, but is there anything on the menu you want to eat?
By now, I am getting a little exasperated, but in the interests of date night...
Me: What do you feel like eating?
SH: I’m pretty easy. Your choice, love.
Me: OK, we are eating Vietnamese.
SH: Sounds good.

Later... sipping our first glass of vino, while sharing some salt & pepper calamari...

SH: This is nice. But I really felt like a steak at the place next door...
Me: You should have said.
SH: I did.

Welcome to Planet Scorpio.

I have spent the last 20 years living with a Scorpio. I work for a Scorpio, my father is a Scorpio & one of my closest girlfriends is a Scorpio. I am surrounded by them, adore their depth and intensity and, as a result, am actually pretty good (usually) at speaking Scorpio. But every so often I do mess up.

Scene 2

After a difficult week of long hours, lots of running FFN around to social events and SH at endless off-sites, the inevitable happens and a general discussion over something completely inane turns into an all out yelling match (me) and silence (SH).

SH: But you know the pressure I have been under.
Me: How can I know if you haven’t told me?
SH: But I have told you. You just weren’t listening.

He hadn’t told me verbally, but in review, I should have recognised the signs.

When a Scorpio finally gives their heart and their trust (usually the 2 are interconnected), they expect that you will in return give your heart and soul. Scorpio doesn’t just love, they demand complete merging. With that is an expectation that you feel everything as intensely as they do. There is also an expectation that the channels of non verbal communication are wide open. This translates to, they don’t only assume that you can read their minds, it simply doesn’t occur to them that you can’t.

Scorpio doesn’t offer anything up. You have to earn it. As I said, I am normally pretty good at reading the signals. This is why Pisces and Scorpio often go well together (as long as they can avoid drowning each other). In fact, this is why water signs all work reasonably well, on a Sun sign level, anyway. We all live through and are motivated by our feelings on a level which is non verbal.

When a Scorpio calls you out of the blue to talk about nothing, what they are really calling for is so that you can ask the questions that need to be asked so they can tell you without telling you what they need to tell you. If you can speak Scorp, the exact words don’t need to be said.

Do you think we need to talk about this?
I don’t know, do you think we need to talk about this?
If you don’t think we need to, I guess we don’t need to.

It has all been said and understood. Over and out.

The Emotional Overdraft

The alarm goes off way too early, but I have high and healthy hopes for the day. The diary is organised, and emails taken care of by 9am. I have high hopes of a walk in the sun at lunchtime and a gym class while my daughter is at swimming.

Then the day goes downhill. An unscheduled teleconference, a network outage and the lunchtime walk is forsaken for a sandwich at my desk. The emails and calls continue, and I am grateful (again) for the Bluetooth in my car that allows me to continue to take calls as I tear home (late again), do the swimming drop off (late again), and therefore miss the planned gym class (again). At this point I realise there is nothing in the house for dinner and make an unscheduled stop for groceries. Once home, the first glass of wine is poured while the homework supervised, and the 2nd while dinner is contemplated. By the time 8pm comes, and the day is nearly done I quite simply can’t be faffed to take the dog for the walk I know she needs and am in bed soon after.

Tomorrow is the same and the next after that. Sound familiar? We exist, we function, but the intensity of life is missing. When we are in periods of stress, despondency and boredom we often unconsciously go to the shadow side of our Moon, the part that nurtures us. In the case of my Pisces Moon, I reach for the wine and the sense of escape from feeling that comes with that. Yes, I feel comforted for a while, but that comfort is taken away as my fitness declines, general greyness of mood kicks in and my clothes get tighter. As my tummy rolls form a veranda and I can no longer see my feet (OK, a slight exaggeration), I have had to look harder at alternatives to my current mode of coping.

The verdict? Choose to replenish the emotional bank account more positively and intentionally by looking at the second house. The sign that is on the cusp of the second house will help you deal with stress in a way that allows you to continue to fit in your jeans.

I have Aries ruling my second house and the most effective way for me to release tension is to move. Specifically I love to box- there is something infinitely satisfying about a one on one training session where I get hot and sweaty and get to hit and kick someone.

I have tried massage, and tend to lie there thinking about what other tasks I should be doing instead. The simple fact for me is that no matter how de-motivated or mentally tired I am, exercise energises me and creativity keeps me motivated. I use my Aries 2nd house in a Piscean way- my trainer knows that I will commit to my sessions as long as he commits to mixing it up & varying the routine. Swimming and yoga also satisfy both my Pisces planets and the needs of my emotional Bank Manager.

Some general ideas:
If your second house is ruled by a fire sign, get moving. Whatever lights your fire, so to speak. Fire signs also benefit from creative expression as a release.

Earth second houses benefit from getting in touch, mindfully, with their bodies. Consider a massage or other bodywork. Alternatively, feel your connection to the earth during a walk or the earth in your hands in the garden.

Music, books and socialising of all types- virtual or physical- release tension when there is an Air sign on the cusp of the second house.

When water rules the second, space is provided via a bath, a swim, some spiritual time out.

These ideas can be refined further by examining the nature of the sign. For example, Taurus should probably avoid the comfort food element inherent in a Taurean second house and instead opt for a walk (around the shops?) or a massage, and Sagittarius would always benefit from figuratively jumping a few fences, while Libra 2nd house might be happy to glam up, pop on the heels and dance the night away . I am happy to provide suggestions to anyone needing some ideas.

I know, it is easier said than done, as I am daily proof of. We all have commitments, schedules and responsibilities- all of which are personally compelling to each of us. But I am making a deal with myself to intentionally step away from the shadow of my Moon and feel the burn my 2nd house is asking for. Aries also likes a little competition and I have a little side wager with a friend about results and abs & who is going to kick whose arse...

Blame it on the Moon- Pisces

I don’t know whether it was the red wine (I had a few), the vodka/tonic (just one), the altitude (I was in a Boeing 777 at a few thousand metres) or the fact that I needed the toilet really really badly & the seatbelt sign was still on (turbulence over the top of Aus), but I found myself crying in... wait for it... Hannah Montana the Movie. In fact, I was so overwhelmed by the sheer emotion (or the need to pee) that I let my husband borrow my very expensive and previously heavily guarded BOSE noise reducing headphones so he could watch his Kung Fu classic crap flick in comfort while I broke the rules and ducked down the aisle to the toilet.

Nor was this an isolated incident (the crying at movies on planes, that is... I want you to know that I have never ever broken the seatbelt thing before...). During my last couple of flights I have also had tears during the soapbox scene in New in Town, during the shop window scene in Confessions of a Shopaholic, and even the happy bit of He’s Just Not That Into You. Only The Boat that Rocked missed out because, whilst the music was great, it was seriously so misogynistic that I couldn’t find tears even for when they got old Hippie Bob out of the sinking boat.

On one overnighter from Hong Kong, I was crying so much during Sex and the City that the hostess brought me down another bottle of red. Suffice to say, on the return leg this time I stuck to movies starring Clive Owen where I knew I would be too busy drooling to cry, and Flight Of The Conchords (my favourite episode where Jermaine accidently sleeps with an Australian so gets kicked out of the band) where I could laugh out loud & be less embarrassed than if the person on the other side of the aisle matched my tears to Hannah Montana!

My 11 year old daughter, who I had synchronised the movie with (so that we both start & pause at the same times) failed to pick up the deep emotion between a father and daughter in the “Butterfly” scene and just shook her head at me when the tears started as Hannah launched into “The Climb”. But then Sarah also can’t understand why after thousands of viewings I still sob my little heart out when Maria comes back across the lawn to the children in The Sound of Music. My devoted family get a laugh every time the flashbulbs go and Elvis Costello breaks into “She” during that unforgettable scene in Notting Hill.

No matter what sign your Sun is in, the sign that the Moon was in at the minute you were born dictates how you react to people, events and memories on an emotional and unconscious level. Whilst the Sun is the outward expression of you, the Moon is the inner you. How easily your emotions are expressed and dealt with can be seen by the contacts (aspects) which the Moon makes to the other planets in your birthchart- but that is a whole other series of blogs.

I have a Pisces Moon, and having a Pisces Moon is like being hormonal and pregnant your entire life. When expectant friends tell me that can’t understand why they are crying over TV ads or in public or at the news, I silently welcome them to my life. Once every 28 days when the Moon moves through the sign of Pisces, all of us become a little more emotional, a little dreamier, and a little more impractical- a little more Piscean. The extent to which that affects you will depend on what sign your Moon is natally.

If your Moon is in Pisces, you will be intuitive, compassionate, sentimental and sensitive to the emotional atmosphere around you. Easily hurt, you also tend to easily forgive, often allowing your heart to be broken over and over by the same person. With a Pisces Moon also comes an idealism that essentially everyone is good and means well and it is a nasty shock when you realise that this is not the case. Your intuition may put you on alert, but that dreamy sense of beyondness will urge you to think you can change the person who your every sense is telling you to avoid. That Pisces compassion will have you feeling sorry for the person who has let you down for the umpteenth time and the man who is confessing to sleeping with someone else, but professes his love still for you.

The biggest risk for a Pisces Moon is of emotional overload and subsequent escape into substances and activities which dull or mask what is being felt. The position of the Moon and the aspects made to it also tell us a lot about both our experience of nurturing and how we nurture ourselves. The Pisces Moon can be quite indiscriminate in regards to its appetite. The lack of boundaries can mean that quite simply you don’t know when you may have had enough- whether that be food, alcohol or an unhealthy love affair.

It is imperative for the Pisces Moon to find other more healthy pursuits when the emotions get too much to bear. If you can learn to protect yourself against negative emotions and tune into that intuition, you have the potential for your dreams to become reality. Now... where is my copy of Sense and Sensibility...

Does My Bum Look Fat in These Jeans?

Mercury in Virgo August 3- 25
I have the absolute worst possible Mercury in history. And, given that Mercury is about how you communicate, the way in which you process information, and how you think, it is actually a miracle that I can even string 2 words together, let alone be able to sell coal to Newcastle when I have had a few bevies.

Why is my Mercury so bad? My Mercury is in Pisces where it is traditionally in the sign of both its detriment and fall. Mercury has difficulty expressing itself in mutable, watery, no boundaries Pisces. Also, my Mercury is in the 12th house, the house of self undoing, the place where you lock your deepest and darkest secrets away. Suffice to say, few planets operate well from the 12th house. Finally, my Mercury is retrograde natally, which means that it appears to be going backwards. The good part of that one is that I tend to feel retrogrades less than people who have Mercury in a stronger position to mine.... leading me nicely into Virgo.

If you have Mercury in Virgo, your Mercury is very very different to mine- Mercury rules Virgo and is strong, smart and extremely sharp in this position. The only (and rather mean) comfort I take from this is that during Mercury retrograde periods, you are likely to be substantially more affected than I am.

But that is probably the only comfort I can take. Where Mercury in Pisces is about the “big picture”, Mercury in Virgo concentrates on the details- every single little detail. In fact, nothing is below the notice of Mercury in Virgo, and every one of them will be analysed. Mercury in Virgo is the ultimate record keeper and statistician, forgetting nothing, and having a place for everything. This placement has a quick and brilliant mind (although sell themselves short), and the ability to make conversation on numerous subjects (but think they could be better).

Mercury in Virgo is critical, picky, and practical. Never ask if your bum looks fat in those jeans- this placement will tell you it does and what you need to do to make it better. Not because they want to be mean spirited, but because they truly believe that perfection can be attained. It is this idealism, and an awareness of how things are versus how they can be that drives this analytical placement.

But to those of us with a weaker Mercury and a more expansive arse, a little less analysis and a little more dishonesty would be nice!

Does this Mean we are getting married?

Venus in Cancer: August 2-26

There’s this little piece of astro humour (See Sex, Lies and Bodypaint) about the one line which each of the signs might say after a one night stand. For Cancer it might be “Does this mean we are getting married?”

If you have Venus in Cancer, you take relationships very very seriously, and are quite conservative in your attitude to love and romance. In fact, the whole idea of a one night stand line for Cancer is a bit of an oxymoron. Love is for life.

It has been (unfairly?) said that Venus in Cancer can be nagging, clingy and manipulative. But consider the life of a Crab- it has to ride the tides of the ocean by clinging hard to rocks for its’ survival – so it is when Venus is in Cancer- it will cling on and on and on and on- often way after the relationship is dead and really starting to stink. Nothing you can do will shake them off. Nor will they leave of their own accord- after all, you need them, and Cancer needs to be needed! But unlike Pisces who will be all desperate and pining and make you feel sorry for them, Venus in Cancer has a Mothers ability to produce guilt- without you really knowing why you should be feeling guilty- a talent indeed. Venus in Cancer does not like conflict, so brooding silences and retreat are usually great indicators that things are not FINE.

What is fair to say, is that under the hard outer shell, Venus in Cancer is fearful of rejection. This highly sensitive, maternal, compassionate and completely loyal sign will do anything and everything to protect and nurture its’ relationships. The more they do for you, the more you need them and the less likely you are to leave. It is well worth remembering this if your partner has Venus in Cancer- the occasional thoughtful gesture will make him/her feel loved, needed and cherished far more than will flashy bling- although, that is always nice as well.... Never ever think that you can buy them- with Venus in Cancer, it is all about emotion and feeling.

Venus in Cancer will pack your bags with your favourite things before you go away and welcome you home with a hearty meal - proving that no one looks after you quite like they do. In fact, you will rarely go hungry if your partner has Venus in Cancer- although you may have problems in dragging your love out of their shell into the open- nothing beats an economical home cooked meal. Venus in Cancer will be sensitive to your mood as soon as you walk through the door and act accordingly. Venus in Cancer will help out around the house- often without being asked... yep, even the men. In the workplace, even the most businesslike Venus in Cancer will understand if you aren’t feeling well and will genuinely be interested in your family and photos. Abuse that trust? Take advantage of that compassion? Venus in Cancer will forgive, but rarely forget.

As I have mentioned in previous blogs, not only does your Venus placement indicate your preferred relationship style and what makes you feel good, but in a mans chart, the Venus placement will also indicate what he is looking for in a partner. If your man has Venus in Cancer, he will be attracted to partners with Cancer characteristics- perhaps someone who will look after him, cook for him, possibly even mother him. He will also be looking for a relationship that is committed, loyal and predictable.

Venus in Cancer? Get past that craggy shell, expect a little sideways dodging of issues, learn to read the different interpretations of FINE, and you will never be hungry again.

Casting a Spotlight on Leo

I was having coffee with a girlfriend a few weeks ago in a new place- great coffee menu, great lighting and really dramatic interiors. Nice. Anyway, we got to talking, like friends do, and, like conversations do, the subject turned to a mutual acquaintance who had recently separated from her husband. Now, I have never particularly liked this person and I wouldn’t have trusted her husband under any circumstances, so without thinking I said rather sarcastically “Now what could possibly have gone wrong there?”

My friend looked at me for a second or two and quite seriously replied “I don’t know what you mean.”

Recklessly I went on. “Surely you heard the rumours about him and his affairs? I seriously have no idea why she put up with him for so long.”

“Jo, only they know what went on in their relationship.” She idly stirred her coffee and then continued: “I must remember to call her and see if she needs anything. Now, tell me about that pair of Marc Jacobs shoes …”

Subject closed.

My friend has Mercury and the Sun in Leo and is way too dignified for gossip. Think Bree in Desperate Housewives, but perhaps without all the other hang-ups. It isn’t that she thinks she is above it, just that she really doesn’t enjoy it. Mercury in Leo expresses itself with dignity, warmth, generosity and flair & whilst the temper can be legendary, generally rates quite low on the bitch scale.

Another dear friend has the Sun in Leo. She is the most glamorous person I know and, although she now lives far away, is also one of the warmest and most generous friends I have- and I value her for that. The quintessential Leo, she is always impeccably groomed, treats even the most humble Tupperware party as a major social event and is equally at home hosting a barbecue or an art show. The consummate hostess with the mostess.

Leo is a fire sign and is associated with the 5th house of the birthchart. Leo is all about creativity, self expression and the ego. Leo is theatrical, dramatic and all flourishing. Think Madonna, Bill Clinton and Jackie O. At its absolute best, Leo is generous, loyal and charismatic. But at its worst? Think Diva, think tantrums, dogmatic and think manipulative.

Leo is King (or Queen) of all he surveys, and that is how it should be. Ruled by the Sun, Leo has a sense of entitlement, a need to be recognised and an absolute pride in whatever he may do. But underneath this longing for glamour, luxury and recognition is an innate vulnerability. Consider the Lion in Wizard of Oz.

Leo wants to be liked and is terrified of the alternative. From the insecurity comes a show of drama queen proportions, but that is what it is, a show. A Leo with the Sun in the 12th house can be like someone with the light switched out- they often don’t realise that if they show their natural warmth, loyalty and generosity of spirit they will be loved for themselves, not their portable spotlight.

Happy Birthday Leo- this month, it is all about you.

Travel- Its all About Soul

Getting below the surface in Rotorua (NZ). Pic by me.

We were standing in the shelter of an Indonesian market town from tropical rain waiting for the shuttle bus to take us back to our Resort, so really, I had no choice but to shamelessly eavesdrop on the conversation happening in front of me. It was between a Singaporean lady who had come to the island for a long weekend (SL) and a tourist from a country I won’t name for fear of upsetting all the other wonderful people from that country :)(T). It went something like this:

SL: So, how long did you spend in Singapore?

T: Just 3 days, but that was long enough to see everything.

SL: Did you enjoy it?

T: Well, the 1st day we spent trying to get over the flight and used to this dreadful heat. Then we went for a walk down Orchard Road and I said to my husband and son that really we could be in Los Angeles or Sydney.

(I grinned at this one, as last time I looked, George St was nothing like Orchard Rd... but I digress)

SL: Maybe you should have had a look at Little India, Chinatown or Arab Street- and seen the old Singapore?

T: (shudders) The City Tour took us through Little India and... (another shudder)... we really didn’t like it.

SL: What about the Zoo, did you go to the Zoo? Singapore Zoo is one of the best in the world.

T: No, we have been to so many zoos around the world and our Zoo in XXXXX (nearly gave away the nationality...) is what Singapore’s Zoo was copied from.

(By now SL is desperately waiting for the shuttle bus to turn up).

SL: But you must be happy with the Resort?

T: Well we are now, although have you seen the price of the pizzas? And my husband hasn’t been able to get a rugby score on TV & don’t get me started on the insect bites.

At this point a giggle escaped from me, so I had no choice but to join the conversation...

Jo: But how cool are the Malaysian soap operas? We love the ones without the subtitles & try & make up the words.

T: (gave me a look which roughly translated as “are you for real?”)

Jo: And, you have to admit, the weather is heaps warmer than back home at the moment? And where else can you buy 3 Tiger Beers for $5?

This whole random conversation made me think about what our charts say about us as travellers. Our sun sign will tell us quite a bit, but how you approach travel can be seen by the sign that rules the 9th house in your birthchart. You may be a Taurus Sun, but with a Sagittarius 9th house would be interested in cultures, religions and pushing your limits a little more.
As a Pisces, I am naturally drawn to anything with water and anything where my boundaries can dissolve. But with Scorpio on the cusp of my 9th house, I approach travel from the viewpoint of Scorpio- I like to get below the surface to the soul of wherever I go. Tour groups invade my privacy, and tend to make me feel constrained and a little claustrophobic.

Thankfully my husband is of a similar mindset. With a Scorpio Sun and Sagittarius on the cusp of his 9th house, he also wants to immerse himself in culture. So when we travel, while we might stay in good hotels (my idea of camping is a 3 star hotel) with access to water, but we head off the tourist trail as much as possible, eat locally (usually that is also the cheapest option) & attempt to find out how people really live.

Our daughter (an Aries Sun with Leo on the cusp of her 9th house) likes to travel, but prefers a resort with sun lounges, a pool and plenty of pool games. A common phrase for us when on holidays is “It’s not all about you, Sarah.” Very Leo on the 9th.

So, what does your chart say about you as a traveller? If you know the sign that is on the cusp of your 9th house, that is great- read both the description of your Sun sign and that ruling the 9th. If you know your birth time, hop onto Astro.com and get your own birthchart.
Aries: You want to be first- that goes without saying. If you can’t explore new territory, at least be the 1st of your group to go somewhere new. And if that doesn’t work, pick a resort where you can kick the arses off the other guests in pool volleyball, tennis, drinking games or anything else competitive. Combine the 2 and follow your favourite sporting team or army on tour. Avoid guided tours at all costs.

Taurus: Somewhere nice and conservative, but with good value for money. You love modern cities with great shopping, good food and where you don’t have to do an awful lot. Relaxation is the name of the game, but a visit to an art gallery or a stroll through shops followed by cocktails is exercise enough. Resorts and cruises are great, but don’t go too far off the beaten track- stick with what you know.

Gemini: Don’t even think about retreats... ever... unless there is a group of you going- actually unless there are a few groups going- you need the variety. Contiki tours or a backpacking holiday where you can gather friends (and facebook contacts) from all around the world- and party all night- are right on the money. If it’s Thursday we must be in Rome.

Cancer: You really don’t like to be too far from home, but when you are, you prefer to set up base in a single place and make it as much like your home away from home as possible. Apartments by the beach are great when you can get the groceries in and cook for yourself- eating out too much really can’t be justified when you can whip up a perfectly good meal yourself.

Leo: It goes without saying that you prefer to follow the sun. But don’t even think about a put your own tent up in the African jungle safari. Sun and Glamour are your key words. You love a 5 star resort with cocktails by the pool, a great in house beauty salon and the perfect poolside wardrobe. Perhaps a cruise, the Greek Islands, or both. It is no less than you deserve.

Virgo: Let’s face it, you are going to get travel belly wherever you go... but I did notice when we were in Singapore recently that all the Hawker markets are graded in terms of food quality and cleanliness... no, I am not sure what standard they are measured against or the actual statistics of how many people had to get sick, but my point is, this definitely makes it easier for Virgos to eat cheaply, locally and know where their tummy bug is coming from. The best part of a holiday has to be in the planning and working out where you can get the best value for money. Don’t share with other families- you know you will be the one having to do all the chores. Organised tours are perfect for you- you really don’t like anywhere too relaxing, loud, flashy or wet.

Libra: Anywhere gorgeous where you can shop for designer goodies- just make sure you take someone equally as decorative to carry all your bags; somewhere glamorous where you can lie back with your champagne and be fed chocolates by one admirer while getting a foot massage from another; a resort or cruise where the biggest decision you need to make is which pool lounge you will drape yourself across to best possible advantage. Leave the pool games to Aries, you don’t want to break a nail.

Scorpio: I will say this once only- avoid organised tours- you have absolutely no control and people will be in your face all day. Also avoid anywhere too bright or too loud. Scorpio likes to make his own way and will actively seek out the underbelly of society and the hidden depths and the soul of a place. Being a water sign, scuba diving shipwrecks has to be the most literal translation of this. But whatever you choose, with Scorpio on the 9th, you will be transformed by travel- if you let yourself go.

Sagittarius: Particularly drawn to skiing holidays and (yes, Virgo, I was getting to this part) skiing injuries. Sag likes anywhere where there is something to drink, something to jump off or something to jump into or something to gamble on...Consider a drinking tour of Vegas casinos. Sag is also into spirituality, so has been known to gallop off into the sunset after their latest Guru.

Capricorn: Preferably a trip paid for by someone else, but if that is not possible, book somewhere of good quality, conservative, respectable and great value for money. Plan it well and you won’t have any nasty surprises. Capricorn really does not like to relax as time away from work means someone could be making them no longer indispensable. Take your Blackberry and your laptop so you can still jump in with your vast experience when trouble strikes.

Aquarius: Admit it, you secretly want to be on one of those Moon flights. But this aside, your holiday needs to be different. Whether you are up a tree saving the forest from chainsaws or in deepest South America researching the local people, or doing the Woodstock thing, as long as it is slightly unconventional and involves other people to share ideas with you will have a great time. One on one quality relationship time with your partner? Forget it.

Pisces: Pisces uses travel to escape from whatever version of reality they find themselves in. You don’t like to plan too much, drifting from one place to the next is perfect. As long as your holiday involves water, duty free alcohol and absolutely no responsibilities you are a happy fishy. Having some bossy Tour Guide telling you what time to get up, where to go and what to do when you get there is your idea of organised hell.