Friday, February 11, 2011

My Other Site

Hi there.

I am no longer actively posting to this blog. All material can now be found over at Come over for a look & a browse through the posts.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Breaking Free- Venus Conjunct Uranus

I have Venus conjunct Uranus. Is this why I can’t stay in a relationship?

This is an interesting one. I have Uranus in the 7th house opposing my Sun and Moon- a similar aspect to a Venus/Uranus conjunction in many ways. When I was first learning astrology, many more experienced (than I) astrologers upon seeing my chart would nod meaningfully at me and then very gently ask me how many times I have been married. One actually went as far as to tell me that I had a “divorce aspect” and that I would never be able to hold down as relationship as my need for space, individuality and constant excitement is too great. WTF? I have been in the same relationship for over 20 years…what is more to a very conservative Scorpio!

Just before I went to New York earlier this year my Dad told my husband that he should enforce more control over me and my habit of periodically running away. Hubby just laughed and said “that’s Joey, I wouldn’t want to try and control her.”

With Venus/Uranus you will need space in your relationships. Not just physical and emotional space, but space to be yourself within the structure of a relationship. This does not mean so called “open relationships” (unless, of course, that works for both of you), but rather open communication where you both understand what the other needs in order to be honest to themselves and each other.

I once went to school with a girl who put the “kwe” into quirky. She didn’t value popularity, in fact, it was something she eschewed- yet for all that, popular she was, in that everyone wanted to copy her. Other girls wanted to dress like her, listen to the same music as her, have the same detached nonchalance that wore.

She was able to wear the mankiest Doctor Who scarf in a way that would make others look plain sad. She was into Dead Kennedys when the rest of us thought The Cure were alternative. She wallpapered her bedroom in alfoil and once made a full twirly skirt for the school disco entirely out of broadsheet newspapers. Ok, the newspaper skirt probably wasn’t a great success and didn’t survive the water fight midway during the evening, but certainly illustrates my point- people with a Venus/Uranus conjunction love to be different, with an original style which is all their own.

Venus/ Uranus types are able to successfully combine quirky, mis-matched and artisan pieces together with the end result not looking contrived or as if they are trying too hard to be different.

You love to discover a new designer or artist or band, but will only remain loyal and interested until they become popular, at which point you move onto the next exciting discovery…much like my school friend who moved onto Throbbing Gristle once a few of us started listening to Dead Kennedys’ “Holiday in Cambodia”.

You may be extremely open minded to all types of relationship structures, you may resist traditional ceremonies- after all, how you feel about each other won’t be changed by a piece of paper. Then again, you may choose to do all of these things. The one thing that you will resist in a relationship is sameness and dishonesty and imprisonment. Feeling trapped and claustrophobic is a common symptom of a long term relationship for a Venus/Uranus type or indeed Venus in Aquarius, or 7th house Uranus.

For all your freedom loving, open minded attitudes, you can be completely inflexible when it comes to compromising on what it is that you believe in, your own moral code, so to speak. As adaptable as you may appear to the outside world, heaven help anyone who attempts to mold you into their idea of who and what you should be. As malleable and responsible as you may be at the start of a relationship, at some point you will rebel.

Sometimes you may “project” the aspect, and rather than display the qualities yourself, be drawn to Venus/Uranian types- this may be the case if the rest of your chart is heavily water or earth based. You may be attracted to partners who themselves are quirky, spontaneous, unreliable and freedom loving. You may constantly worry that he doesn’t value the relationship (or you) and detaches himself too easily. Venus/Uranus understands that people can’t be owned- nobody “belongs” to anybody else.

Venus/Uranus types fall in love (lust) quickly. For as long as that 1st glorious rush of newness lasts, she won’t care what others think, or whether he is the right one or even whether he is available- self restraint means absolutely nothing when your interest is aroused. Once that initial glow disappears, she will, however, look for excitement elsewhere- a little variety and experimentation will always help to sustain her interest. Mixing it up a bit sexually is definitely appreciated by Venus/Uranus types!

Having Venus and Uranus conjunct (or, indeed a 7th house Uranus or Venus in Aquarius) does not mean you will never have a lasting relationship- just that you need to find someone who will value your independence and space in the same way that you do. Someone who recognizes that you need personal freedom and the space within which you can experiment and be creative. Someone who provides a safe haven for you to come back to in between adventures. Someone who appreciates those little quirks of your personality. Someone who won’t push you into a uniform, won’t make you straighten your hair and won’t try and mold you into the perfect wife/partner. Someone who thinks that you and your purple velvet coat are perfect as you are.

Friday, July 30, 2010

And on that farm he had a....? Mercury in Virgo

‘and on that farm he had a .... crocodile!’ announced Sarah.

‘But there aren’t any crocodiles on farms, Sarwah,’ pointed out A.

My daughter and my niece were singing “Old Macdonald Had a Farm” in the back of the car. Both girls were about 4 at the time and very cute.

‘Well, there was on this farm.’

‘But what sort of farm was it Sarwah?’

‘The sort of farm that has crocodiles on it I spose….’ Sarah thinks carefully before announcing with great confidence: ‘ I know… it must have been a crocodile farm.’

By this point my husband and I were giggling. Two more different cousins you could not imagine- our brown eyed Sarah is a typical Aries, whilst blonde & blue eyed A, likes the detail. Sarah, like most Aries, has problems with detail. A, like most Virgos, can’t understand why Sarah wants to move on so quickly. As different as they are they have always got on beautifully, with each complementing the other.

‘OK.’ A seems unusually accepting of this response. The back seat is silent.

‘But what sort of noise do crocodiles make Sarwah?’ she eventually asks.

‘Crocodile noises, I guess,’ replies Sares.

‘Are there any other animals on crocodile farms?’

‘Of course there are,’ says Sares.

‘But wouldn’t the crocodiles eat them all?’ asks A.

‘How about we sing another song?’ I interject from the front seat.

A has Mercury in Virgo- and has the quick, yet supremely analytical, mind to go with it. Sarah has Mercury (conjunct Mars) in Aries and can’t be bothered.

I have the absolute worst possible Mercury in history. And, given that Mercury is about how you communicate, the way in which you process information, and how you think, it is actually a miracle that I can even string 2 words together, let alone be able to sell coal to Newcastle when I have had a few bevies. In fact, I once (under the intellectual influence of a few red wines) convinced an ex Liberal would be prime minister that it was a great idea to buy a painting (for a ridiculous sum of money) that “looked like happiness should feel”.

Why is my Mercury so bad? Amongst a myriad of other problems, my Mercury is in Pisces where it is traditionally in the sign of both its detriment and fall. Mercury has difficulty expressing itself in mutable, watery, no boundaries Pisces.

If you have Mercury in Virgo, your Mercury is exactly opposite to mine- Mercury rules Virgo and is strong, smart and extremely sharp in this position. The only (and rather mean) comfort I take from this is that during Mercury retrograde periods, you are likely to be substantially more affected than I am.

Where Mercury in Pisces is about the “big picture” and “beyondness”, Mercury in Virgo concentrates on the details- every single little detail. Nothing is below the notice of Mercury in Virgo.

Mercury in Virgo is the ultimate record keeper and statistician, forgetting nothing, and having a place for everything. This placement has a quick and brilliant mind (although sell themselves short), and the ability to make conversation on numerous subjects (but think they could be smarter). They write beautifully, yet edit themselves constantly. I once gave a Mercury in Virgo friend a journal with the instruction not to re-read or edit anything she had written, as that would be tantamount to editing her own thoughts and feelings. Mercury in Virgo is humble.

Where others simply see problems, Mercury in Virgo breaks them down into readily digestible pieces. Once she can see a logical order she can proceed. The danger with this approach is paralysis by analysis- a tendency to over-think an issue.

Like Mercury in all the Earth signs, the urge to be practical, can sometimes mean that communication is not as sensitive as it could be. This is simply because Mercury in Virgo likes to be matter of fact- don’t call her with problems unless you want her to offer you a straight forward and very practical solution. This placement has a great desire to be helpful. When she asks about your health, she is genuinely interested in your response.

Mercury in Virgo is critical, picky, and may come across as being negative. Again, she is just telling it how it is. Never ask if your bum looks fat in those jeans- she will tell you it does and what you need to do to make it better. Not because she wants to be mean spirited, but because she truly believes that perfection can be attained. It is this idealism, and an awareness of how things are versus how they can be that drives this analytical placement.

But to those of us with a weaker Mercury and a more expansive arse, a little less analysis and a little more dishonesty would be nice!

A couple of months after the car incident, my sister and I take the girls to the Opera House to see a kids play called “the Flying Babies.” Sarah is laughing very hard, but A seems thoughtful.

‘Aunty Jo?’ she whispers loudly, ‘They are very big babies.’

‘That’s because they aren’t really babies, they are grown ups dressed up as babies,’ I explain.

‘So, they are really grown ups dressed up as babies?’


‘But, Aunty Jo, why would grown ups want to dress up as babies?’

I look across at Sarah, she is still completely focused on the stage.

‘Because they are actors.’

‘What are actors?’

‘People who pretend to be something or somebody else,’ I reply.

‘But why would people want to pretend to be something that they aren’t?’ she asks, ‘Isn’t that like fibbing…and Mum says it is bad to fib?’

Without denying her absolute logic, I reply in the only way I know:

‘A, I think you better ask your mother!’

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I Am What I Am- Happy Birthday Leo

Symbolon Cards
Yesterday driving to work I was forced to stop outside the local High School for road works. For the first time I paid attention to the motto posted on the school notice board: Dare to Be You. Wow.

I have long held a belief that one of the things our schools don’t teach our children is self expression. We don’t teach them that it is OK to be themselves, that honest individuality can be creatively exciting. Conformity is easy, but, lets face it, it is really scary to learn how to be You.

Fear is something that Leo struggles with. Like the Lion in the Wizard of Oz, the Lion can be all roar and no substance. Despite Leo’s well publicised penchant for entrances and centre stage, behind the make-up is often hidden a fear of being found out.

Last week I published a piece on Leo in the workplace- All The World’s a Stage. In that I proposed that Leo is from the “Fake It Until You Become It” school. This is absolutely the case. If you dress and act as you wish to be, others will believe that confidence. Soon you believe it too. The resultant accolades and applause reinforce it. You become who you want to be. The really scary bit happens when that whole belief system is questioned. Do you fall apart or find the courage bluff it through and, as a very famous Leo (Madonna) said, express yourself?

Leo spends much of his life learning how to express that vitality and creativity in a way which is authentic to him, yet somehow also afraid that one day the applause will stop. Leo spends much of his life daring to be himself.

Consider the Sun, the planet which rules Leo. The Sun radiates the energy and heat which keeps us all alive. It is this warmth which has the ability to transform us. We can’t survive without it. You can’t miss him, up there in the sky, generously sending down rays with dramatic intensity. The ultimate creative force, his magnetism is such that all the other planets are pulled within his orbit.

So too Leo. You can’t miss him. Even when he isn’t making an entrance, he is noticed for his absence. And when he is in the room, everyone else is pulled seemingly by gravitational force into his orbit. Charisma, dramatic generosity, creativity- Leo has it in spades.

My younger sister is a 1st house Leo Sun. With a 12th house Cancer Moon and a lot of 2nd house Virgo planets, she has never been the type that is truly comfortable in the limelight. As kids she would shyly wait in her room until she felt she could slip in to whatever family event we had been forced into attending. Her absence was always keenly noticed, and like it or not, when she did appear, it would be with the unconscious, yet very casual grace of a Queen bestowing a very special favour.

She can, however, look and dress the part with Oscar winning aptitude- whatever part she is playing. For work she is consummately professional, for home, casually elegant. Always immaculately presented, she radiates a confidence and pride that hides her uncertainty sometimes too well. She once said to me that there is never a reason to let your standards slip. She certainly never does and would not be seen dead at the shops in trackpants and ugg boots (not that I would ever do that either….).

When I was gathering pieces of feminine wisdom for my daughter to live by, her contribution was “nothing bad ever happens at Tiffanys”. It put my “always take you makeup off before you go to bed no matter how late, drunk or tired you are” completely in the shade!

She is now a Mum herself and I can see her in true Lioness fashion standing over her son, providing him with a view of the outside world, yet snarling protection at any predators. Having her son has given my sister a real and very authentic confidence to be herself. No play acting. Happy Birthday Lenny the Lion.

I am what I am

I am my own special creation

So come take a look

Give me the hook

Or the ovation

It’s my life- that I want to have a little pride in

My life- and it’s not a place I have to hide in

Life’s not worth a damn till you can say

I am what I am

(Lyrics from “I Am What I Am”, by Gloria Gaynor)

Friday, July 23, 2010

Watch Me Come Undone- Jupiter Transits of the 12th house

(my little part of the deck- ignore the unpainted toenails)
As regular readers know, I spent much of the last couple of weeks with my hubby and resident five foot nothing in the middle of the ocean on a hulking big piece of metal with over 2500 people that I didn’t know surrounded by miles and miles of a seemingly empty ocean.

Although looking forward to it, I had been deeply suspicious of the whole cruising idea. Sure I knew it would be a floating resort with a great kids club, but I’m not actually a deeply social person and there are (a lot of times) where I just want everyone to get the hell out of my head. There, I’ve said it. Crowds freak me out and tend to make me a tad claustrophobic. I avoid big concerts of bands I really want to see because of this (don’t remind me that Bon Jovi is out here this December). As much as I love love love the water and Sydney Harbour, I didn’t even enjoy those Xmas parties on Harbour Cruises that we used to have back in the days when companies had Xmas parties, simply because if the party is a dud there is no way off.

Despite the crowds on the ship I managed to spend much of the sea days alone. Endless hours were spent on a quiet part of deck- watching the sea, reading books, making pretty pictures out of cloud shapes, imagining what lay under that expanse of blue. At those moments, with the wind blowing all the fug out of my brain, it felt as though I was completely free and unrestrained- surprisingly so. At those moments, despite my initial misgivings, I was in my 12th house- the place we escape to.

Aside from being where we escape to and where we hide, the 12th house is also where we recuperate, where we keep the things hidden that we don’t want anyone else to know about. It is also where we come undone. This is the place we find (and hide) our addictions, our secrets, our fears, our secret enemies. It is the place of our self undoing.

And aren’t they all pretty much the same? Much of the time our secret enemies are our addictions- addictions that may have begun life as a vehicle for escape. This can be anything from booze to drugs, to food to a fully fledged illicit affair. All of these help us to come undone.

When Jupiter transits this part of your chart, this is where you go- in a big way. You may escape into yourself on a spiritual or positive basis, or you can contribute to your own self destruction. Your fears (secret enemies, another 12th house trait) become larger and manifest themselves easier.

Do you take the edge off them with an extra layer of fat, a few more drinks every night, a misguided shag with someone you shouldn’t be with- or do you go within yourself and find the strength to face your fears head on? As easy as it may be to give in to the devil on your shoulder, this is also the perfect transit to confront those fears and behaviours and find the inner strength to kick your addictions.

Jupiter transiting this part of your chart can provide a protection of sorts against your fears or your secret enemies. The danger of this, as with all Jupiter transits, is when protection and over indulgence are confused. When this happens, what feels like protection may actually be self-undoing.

I spent most of the last couple of years (while Jupiter was in my 12th house) actively trying to escape in every way possible from feelings and ambitions that I was too afraid to say out loud or face head on. Although exaggerated, the nature of my natal Jupiter is one which is prone to self indulgence. The result was a few extra layers of supposedly protective fat, but all the escaping hasn’t really done anything except add a couple of new (unwanted) dress sizes to my wardrobe. Watch me come undone.

The 12th house is also about institutions and confinement. When Jupiter transited my 12th house in 1997/98 I was pregnant- the ultimate confinement. One thing about pregnancy though, is there is no escaping your fears- at some point you have to give birth. When I emerged it was as a different version of myself (see Jupiter- Transits of the 1st house).

I was listening to a podcast recently of a politician who, due to an enforced hospital stay and subsequent lengthy recovery period, emerged from his confinement with a new lease on life and a clear vision of his direction. The confinement and escape from his normal life allowed him to rediscover his creativity. This absolutely supports the view that all of our leaders and policy makers should have an enforced confinement every few years in order to go within themselves and emerge as more authentic and effective leaders.

What often happens during a Jupiter 12th house transit is a spiritual renewal of sorts…whatever that means. In stepping back, you are given the opportunity to rebuild your faith in whatever it is that you believe in or used to believe in. You may even re-build faith in yourself. In a way it is like a great long Jupiter retrograde period. (Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow for more on this concept).

You may find yourself doing more behind the scenes, privately or otherwise “unseen” yet strangely fulfilling work. You certainly won’t be actively looking for the spotlight and accolades during this transit.

During a Jupiter 12th house transit, you will find yourself becoming more Piscean in nature (and that is not just the self destructive part). You may be drawn to meditation or physical retreats to get away from the world. You may feel more empathetic, more intuitive and dream more fantastically and in technicolour.

You may become interested in spiritual matters (in whatever way spiritual is for you) or find yourself strangely attracted into esoteric and metaphysical bookshops. Perhaps you become involved in a secretive romance.

Any of these possibilities will enrich and invigorate you, but on the flip side, excess in any of these can undo you as well. Aside from being expansionary, optimistic and inclined to excess, Jupiter is also about honesty, integrity and whatever you do during this transit, stay true to yourself and your faith and your ethics (whatever they may be). To do anything else is to come undone.

So unimpressed but so in awe

Such a saint but such a whore

So self aware so full of shit

So indecisive so adamant

I’m contemplating thinking about thinking

It’s so frustrating just get another drink in

Watch me come undone

Come Undone, by Robbie Williams

Note: While Jupiter is in Pisces, if you have an Aries Ascendant, this is for you!

Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow- Jupiter Retrograde

Sunset somewhere in the Coral Sea, pic by me

Jupiter is stationary and will be retrograde by tomorrow night until midway through November. Heavy sighs all round from this fishie. The bright part of this is that he will be back in Pisces by September and get another proper shot at my chart without Saturn getting in the way. (The Sun is in Leo, so I am allowed to make this all about ME). The most interesting part is that he will link up again with Uranus in the last few degrees of Pisces- giving us all another chance to take our dreams and break free. More on this aspect in September.

Jupiter is known as the Great Benefic. Often labelled as the “lucky planet”, Jupiter makes things bigger. This is great if you have really good things happening- they happen even more easily, but isn’t so good if there are problems on the horizon. This also isn’t so good if he is transiting across your Ascendant (literally speaking, your physical body often gets bigger...). Check out Dare to Dream for more of Jupiter transits.

Jupiter is generally so optimistic, exuberant and dream/ ideal/ future driven. Nobody can keep up this pace for ever, so when he turns retrograde, he does so for a few months at a time. And when Jupiter turns retrograde, the expansion... stops. Just like that. Good if you are planning a diet but not so great if you are in the middle of a project. Things that seemed to be sure may just stop. Physical energy may just dry up. Optimism and faith may falter.

This is especially true if Jupiter is strong in your chart. Generally speaking, in my case, my wings tend to be clipped and if I am going to feel less than exuberant (in mood or in health), now is the time.

So, who is impacted? Jupiter rules Sagittarius and Pisces (as traditional ruler). You may be regarded as strongly Jupiterian if:

  • you have your Ascendant, Sun or Moon Pisces or Sagittarius
  • If Jupiter is in close aspect to the Sun, Moon, Ascendant or Midheaven (especially conjunction, square or opposition)
  • If you have Jupiter in Cancer, the sign of his exultation
  • If you have a number of planets in the 9th house or the 12th house.
Look also at the houses which Jupiter rules in your chart- those houses with either Sagittarius or Pisces on the cusp- this area of your life will feel the Jupiter influence the most. For this particular retrograde you will also be impacted if you have planets in the 1st few degrees of Aries, Libra, Capricorn and Cancer, or in the last 7 degrees of Pisces, Sagittarius, Gemini & Virgo.

Jupiter also represents integrity and honesty and justice, so the retrograde period is a great time to look objectively and realistically at what you are doing. Are you really investing enough of yourself in what is important? What do you do out of fear or because it is expected of you? How do these actions impinge on your real life goals and where you are meant to be? Have you stopped believing? Are you dwelling too much on coulda woulda shoulda?

Jupiter has a habit of removing those things from your life which you think you need, but actually are doing you no good at all. But with Jupiter, there is no maliciousness- anything you lose now, or anything that stops now is simply not necessary to your growth and will usually be for the best.

So, what to do? Look inward and be honest with yourself. Now is not the time to embark on any activity that requires material expansion- unless it is a new charity or spiritual retreat or something that is of a higher purpose, so to speak. Whatever you do this Jupiter retrograde- don’t stop thinking about’ll soon be here and it will be better than before, so don’t you look back!

If you wake up and don't want to smile,

If it takes just a little while,

Open your eyes and look at the day,

You'll see things in a different way.


Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,

Don't stop, it'll soon be here,

It'll be, better than before,

Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

Why not think about times to come,

And not about the things that you've done,

If your life was bad to you,

Just think what tomorrow will do.


Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,

Don't stop, it'll soon be here,

It'll be, better than before,

Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

All I want is to see you smile,

If it takes just a little while,

I know you don't believe that it's true,

I never meant any harm to you.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,

Don't stop, it'll soon be here,

It'll be, better than before,

Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

Don't you look back,

Don't you look back.

Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow, by Fleetwood Mac


I Am Sailing- Venus in Virgo

Our Lady of the Notre Dame, Lifou, New Caledonia

Regular readers of this blog will know that I am currently on holiday- indulging on a P&O cruise of the South Pacific on a ship called the Pacific Jewel. There is nearly as many staff on this ship as there are passengers (they like to count things on this ship and then Amaze and Surprise you with Incredible statistics…), but you can tell the Officers and Ship executive by their white uniforms. The Captain is Italian with the type of accent a girl would chase to Rome. His whites are the whitest of them all.

Over the last few days I have indulged myself in the fantasy of running away to sea, but aside from the impediments of commitment, responsibility and family, the biggest thing spoiling this fantasy is the white uniform. Not only do I not do uniforms, I also don’t do white- yet have often wished I could.

I don’t avoid white because I feel that it doesn’t suit me, but rather because it rarely stays white. I inevitably spill red wine if I am wearing white. Even if I drink white wine and eat salad, white on me is magnetic- and not in a good way.

I wrote in last years Venus in Virgo post how after surviving chilli sambal chicken and satay- food which usually hurls itself off the plate and in the general direction of my chest (which I admit can be sort of difficult to miss)- I poured a beer in celebration of my cleanliness & managed to brush the fresh henna tattoo on my wrist right across my right boob. Goodbye white tshirt & hello smudged yin/yang- which I then had to live with until it wore off. I also had to spend the rest of the afternoon with a mighty dark brown streak right across my front.

Venus in Virgo, however, can wear white... successfully. In fact, with this placement, you will be able to wear all white and have it stay white and be like those beautiful people in the holiday brochures that stroll hand in hand up the beach in filmy white linen and white bikinis. The sand will not stick & the salt water will dry clear & not sticky.

Unfortunately, Venus in Virgo has difficulty in relaxing for long enough to stroll up a beach, and often has too little body confidence to do so in a bikini. This placement is usually held by people with pretty neat & trim bodies, so this is an absolute waste of white bikini. And yes, given that I have never worn a bikini (let alone a white one) there is more than a small amount of envy in what I say.

Yet despite this amazing ability to wear white, stay clean, be trim and eat well, Venus in Virgo is in what traditional astrologers term the sign of her fall. This doesn’t mean that Venus is weak in Virgo, it means that she is in a position where she can’t use her strength, in a place which is alien to her. Venus loves pleasure, beauty, art, food. What she doesn’t like is too much hard work, conflict, sacrifice, deprivation and details.

Venus is exalted or exaggerated in the opposite sign of Pisces where she sees the world through rose coloured glasses. In Pisces, Venus can be lazy, unrealistic, self-indulgent and oblivious to deprivation or detail.

In Virgo, Venus sees the world clearly and critically, often having altered perceptions of it and herself as a result. In Virgo, the rose coloured glasses are off as she sees imperfections which the rest of us are blind to.

In Virgo, Venus is operating within a sign that thrives on work, analyses details, is extremely conscious about what food is consumed and strives for perfection. This is not a comfortable place for her to be. In Virgo, Venus finds it difficult to relax and difficult to appreciate beauty- especially her own.

In Virgo, Venus is earthily tactile and sensual, yet efficient, reliable, faithful and practical. Despite her textbook reputation to nag in relationships (I make no judgement…), she will give more of herself to you than you can or will ever notice- nothing pleases her more than to have someone to do things for, to worry about, to put on a diet.

This all makes Venus in Virgo a difficult placement to write about. So please, if you feel that this is not you, don’t feel compelled to tell me so- and I mean that in the nicest possible way!

An un-named friend with Venus in Virgo struggles with what she describes as the checklist mentality. Absolutely gorgeous, but until recently single, she admits (retrospectively) that she (unconsciously) approached men with a checklist of sorts- both in terms of physical attributes and professional and earning capacity. Upon meeting a likely candidate he would be assessed and discounted. She also discloses that the “qualities” on her list were really “quantities” to be ticked off and accounted for. As she said to me, if anyone had ever told her that this was what she did with men, she would have fervently denied it, but knows it to be true.

In actual fact, the checklist was there because she didn’t believe that she was special enough to attract someone who would think that she was perfect enough. The concept of “good enough” is a difficult one for Venus in Virgo.

Men with Venus in Virgo are looking for a woman with Virgo traits or a busy 6th house- physically she will be trim, tidy and clean; mentally she will be quick, organised and disciplined, and sexually she will be faithful. She will either be able to deal with the details of life for him or hand these concerns straight across to him. She will most likely be interested in health and nutrition (but often will say that she isn’t)... and she will be able to wear white.

As for my fantasy of running away and spending my days sailing the high seas, away from the martini glass and under the clear ultra violet light of bright sun, my whites just aren’t white enough…and I so don’t do uniforms or discipline…well not from a naval point of view anyway. Hmm I don’t think that came out quite the way it was intended...maybe that is a subject best kept for Mars in Scorpio .

This was originally published on