Thursday, August 13, 2009

How to Speak Scorpio

Greetings from Planet Scorpio

Scene 1

Date Night. Four Foot Nothing (FFN) has been deposited at Camp Grandma and Scorpio Hubby (SH) and I are walking up and down the line of restaurants trying to come to an agreement on somewhere to eat.

Me: This place looks nice. Good menu selection.
SH: mmmm, pretty expensive plate of pasta, don’t you think.
Me: What about this place? You can get a steak here if you want.
SH: Yes, but is there anything on the menu you want to eat?
By now, I am getting a little exasperated, but in the interests of date night...
Me: What do you feel like eating?
SH: I’m pretty easy. Your choice, love.
Me: OK, we are eating Vietnamese.
SH: Sounds good.

Later... sipping our first glass of vino, while sharing some salt & pepper calamari...

SH: This is nice. But I really felt like a steak at the place next door...
Me: You should have said.
SH: I did.

Welcome to Planet Scorpio.

I have spent the last 20 years living with a Scorpio. I work for a Scorpio, my father is a Scorpio & one of my closest girlfriends is a Scorpio. I am surrounded by them, adore their depth and intensity and, as a result, am actually pretty good (usually) at speaking Scorpio. But every so often I do mess up.

Scene 2

After a difficult week of long hours, lots of running FFN around to social events and SH at endless off-sites, the inevitable happens and a general discussion over something completely inane turns into an all out yelling match (me) and silence (SH).

SH: But you know the pressure I have been under.
Me: How can I know if you haven’t told me?
SH: But I have told you. You just weren’t listening.

He hadn’t told me verbally, but in review, I should have recognised the signs.

When a Scorpio finally gives their heart and their trust (usually the 2 are interconnected), they expect that you will in return give your heart and soul. Scorpio doesn’t just love, they demand complete merging. With that is an expectation that you feel everything as intensely as they do. There is also an expectation that the channels of non verbal communication are wide open. This translates to, they don’t only assume that you can read their minds, it simply doesn’t occur to them that you can’t.

Scorpio doesn’t offer anything up. You have to earn it. As I said, I am normally pretty good at reading the signals. This is why Pisces and Scorpio often go well together (as long as they can avoid drowning each other). In fact, this is why water signs all work reasonably well, on a Sun sign level, anyway. We all live through and are motivated by our feelings on a level which is non verbal.

When a Scorpio calls you out of the blue to talk about nothing, what they are really calling for is so that you can ask the questions that need to be asked so they can tell you without telling you what they need to tell you. If you can speak Scorp, the exact words don’t need to be said.

Do you think we need to talk about this?
I don’t know, do you think we need to talk about this?
If you don’t think we need to, I guess we don’t need to.

It has all been said and understood. Over and out.

The Emotional Overdraft

The alarm goes off way too early, but I have high and healthy hopes for the day. The diary is organised, and emails taken care of by 9am. I have high hopes of a walk in the sun at lunchtime and a gym class while my daughter is at swimming.

Then the day goes downhill. An unscheduled teleconference, a network outage and the lunchtime walk is forsaken for a sandwich at my desk. The emails and calls continue, and I am grateful (again) for the Bluetooth in my car that allows me to continue to take calls as I tear home (late again), do the swimming drop off (late again), and therefore miss the planned gym class (again). At this point I realise there is nothing in the house for dinner and make an unscheduled stop for groceries. Once home, the first glass of wine is poured while the homework supervised, and the 2nd while dinner is contemplated. By the time 8pm comes, and the day is nearly done I quite simply can’t be faffed to take the dog for the walk I know she needs and am in bed soon after.

Tomorrow is the same and the next after that. Sound familiar? We exist, we function, but the intensity of life is missing. When we are in periods of stress, despondency and boredom we often unconsciously go to the shadow side of our Moon, the part that nurtures us. In the case of my Pisces Moon, I reach for the wine and the sense of escape from feeling that comes with that. Yes, I feel comforted for a while, but that comfort is taken away as my fitness declines, general greyness of mood kicks in and my clothes get tighter. As my tummy rolls form a veranda and I can no longer see my feet (OK, a slight exaggeration), I have had to look harder at alternatives to my current mode of coping.

The verdict? Choose to replenish the emotional bank account more positively and intentionally by looking at the second house. The sign that is on the cusp of the second house will help you deal with stress in a way that allows you to continue to fit in your jeans.

I have Aries ruling my second house and the most effective way for me to release tension is to move. Specifically I love to box- there is something infinitely satisfying about a one on one training session where I get hot and sweaty and get to hit and kick someone.

I have tried massage, and tend to lie there thinking about what other tasks I should be doing instead. The simple fact for me is that no matter how de-motivated or mentally tired I am, exercise energises me and creativity keeps me motivated. I use my Aries 2nd house in a Piscean way- my trainer knows that I will commit to my sessions as long as he commits to mixing it up & varying the routine. Swimming and yoga also satisfy both my Pisces planets and the needs of my emotional Bank Manager.

Some general ideas:
If your second house is ruled by a fire sign, get moving. Whatever lights your fire, so to speak. Fire signs also benefit from creative expression as a release.

Earth second houses benefit from getting in touch, mindfully, with their bodies. Consider a massage or other bodywork. Alternatively, feel your connection to the earth during a walk or the earth in your hands in the garden.

Music, books and socialising of all types- virtual or physical- release tension when there is an Air sign on the cusp of the second house.

When water rules the second, space is provided via a bath, a swim, some spiritual time out.

These ideas can be refined further by examining the nature of the sign. For example, Taurus should probably avoid the comfort food element inherent in a Taurean second house and instead opt for a walk (around the shops?) or a massage, and Sagittarius would always benefit from figuratively jumping a few fences, while Libra 2nd house might be happy to glam up, pop on the heels and dance the night away . I am happy to provide suggestions to anyone needing some ideas.

I know, it is easier said than done, as I am daily proof of. We all have commitments, schedules and responsibilities- all of which are personally compelling to each of us. But I am making a deal with myself to intentionally step away from the shadow of my Moon and feel the burn my 2nd house is asking for. Aries also likes a little competition and I have a little side wager with a friend about results and abs & who is going to kick whose arse...

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Blame it on the Moon- Pisces

I don’t know whether it was the red wine (I had a few), the vodka/tonic (just one), the altitude (I was in a Boeing 777 at a few thousand metres) or the fact that I needed the toilet really really badly & the seatbelt sign was still on (turbulence over the top of Aus), but I found myself crying in... wait for it... Hannah Montana the Movie. In fact, I was so overwhelmed by the sheer emotion (or the need to pee) that I let my husband borrow my very expensive and previously heavily guarded BOSE noise reducing headphones so he could watch his Kung Fu classic crap flick in comfort while I broke the rules and ducked down the aisle to the toilet.

Nor was this an isolated incident (the crying at movies on planes, that is... I want you to know that I have never ever broken the seatbelt thing before...). During my last couple of flights I have also had tears during the soapbox scene in New in Town, during the shop window scene in Confessions of a Shopaholic, and even the happy bit of He’s Just Not That Into You. Only The Boat that Rocked missed out because, whilst the music was great, it was seriously so misogynistic that I couldn’t find tears even for when they got old Hippie Bob out of the sinking boat.

On one overnighter from Hong Kong, I was crying so much during Sex and the City that the hostess brought me down another bottle of red. Suffice to say, on the return leg this time I stuck to movies starring Clive Owen where I knew I would be too busy drooling to cry, and Flight Of The Conchords (my favourite episode where Jermaine accidently sleeps with an Australian so gets kicked out of the band) where I could laugh out loud & be less embarrassed than if the person on the other side of the aisle matched my tears to Hannah Montana!

My 11 year old daughter, who I had synchronised the movie with (so that we both start & pause at the same times) failed to pick up the deep emotion between a father and daughter in the “Butterfly” scene and just shook her head at me when the tears started as Hannah launched into “The Climb”. But then Sarah also can’t understand why after thousands of viewings I still sob my little heart out when Maria comes back across the lawn to the children in The Sound of Music. My devoted family get a laugh every time the flashbulbs go and Elvis Costello breaks into “She” during that unforgettable scene in Notting Hill.

No matter what sign your Sun is in, the sign that the Moon was in at the minute you were born dictates how you react to people, events and memories on an emotional and unconscious level. Whilst the Sun is the outward expression of you, the Moon is the inner you. How easily your emotions are expressed and dealt with can be seen by the contacts (aspects) which the Moon makes to the other planets in your birthchart- but that is a whole other series of blogs.

I have a Pisces Moon, and having a Pisces Moon is like being hormonal and pregnant your entire life. When expectant friends tell me that can’t understand why they are crying over TV ads or in public or at the news, I silently welcome them to my life. Once every 28 days when the Moon moves through the sign of Pisces, all of us become a little more emotional, a little dreamier, and a little more impractical- a little more Piscean. The extent to which that affects you will depend on what sign your Moon is natally.

If your Moon is in Pisces, you will be intuitive, compassionate, sentimental and sensitive to the emotional atmosphere around you. Easily hurt, you also tend to easily forgive, often allowing your heart to be broken over and over by the same person. With a Pisces Moon also comes an idealism that essentially everyone is good and means well and it is a nasty shock when you realise that this is not the case. Your intuition may put you on alert, but that dreamy sense of beyondness will urge you to think you can change the person who your every sense is telling you to avoid. That Pisces compassion will have you feeling sorry for the person who has let you down for the umpteenth time and the man who is confessing to sleeping with someone else, but professes his love still for you.

The biggest risk for a Pisces Moon is of emotional overload and subsequent escape into substances and activities which dull or mask what is being felt. The position of the Moon and the aspects made to it also tell us a lot about both our experience of nurturing and how we nurture ourselves. The Pisces Moon can be quite indiscriminate in regards to its appetite. The lack of boundaries can mean that quite simply you don’t know when you may have had enough- whether that be food, alcohol or an unhealthy love affair.

It is imperative for the Pisces Moon to find other more healthy pursuits when the emotions get too much to bear. If you can learn to protect yourself against negative emotions and tune into that intuition, you have the potential for your dreams to become reality. Now... where is my copy of Sense and Sensibility...